What does it mean when a person shoots themselves in the foot? Does it mean that they are unlucky? Does it mean that they are careless? Does it mean that they ignored everything they were taught about gun safety? According to Liberal-Progressive-Democrats, the correct answer is none of the above. According to L-P-Ds, the person who shot themselves in the foot are obviously “victims” and deserve special treatment to compensate them for the fact that uncaring, unfeeling gun companies have built guns that actually, gasp, work and fire bullets!
Our Liberal-Progressive-Democrat colleagues would have us believe that each unique individual, each of whom deserves the utmost respect due solely to their uniqueness, in fact deserves different treatment from the rest of us if they are part of a group that shares a few, or even one, common trait. Even if that one trait is being dumb enough to shoot themselves in the foot.
Why do they deserve special treatment? According to the L-P-Ds it is because they, as a group, are “victims” or “underprivileged” or “disadvantaged” of course. They will make endless speeches and air endless campaign commercials that anyone who is a member of one of their pre-defined groups of unique individuals is, when viewed in the aggregate, are actually helpless, oppressed and desperately in need of special help. Special advantages. Special assistance.
Of course it’s also very, very good politics to promise to cure every imagined ill in society, one group at a time. Snake oil salesmen perfected this ploy, and the Democrats will campaign on that premise this November. It’s a strategy that’s worked for them in the past, and no politician changes a winning strategy.
This Balkanization of the electorate works, because it gives L-P-Ds a chance to frame every issue in terms of “us” versus “them”. If they do it right, they are able to cast every one of these groups as an oppressed minority and themselves as champions of these poor, helpless, victimized folk.
For example, L-P-Ds will tell women who work, women who are “stay at home moms”, who are people of color, who are people who have migrated to American (with or without asking permission from the current residents if it’s OK), people who have a different view of sexuality or people who refused to do their homework in high school and dropped out that they are helpless victims. They will explain that this is because there was a time in this nation’s history when they weren’t treated as well as white, male, heterosexual, reasonably educated professionals or skilled craftsmen whose ancestors came from western European nations and spoke English.
But if they vote for their local Democrat, and they will be empowered, and all their problems will disappear.
On the face of it, the whole idea that there are groups (not individuals) who need special help from the nanny state is both ludicrous and insulting to the individuals who have been unwillingly included in these special little pre-defined groups. How do L-P-Ds group people? Well, something like this:
- If you are a school teacher, you are in a special group.
If you belong to a union, you are in a special group.
If you are a unionized school teacher, then you are in a super-special group. Just look at Wisconsin.
If you work for the Federal government or the government of any of the states, or the counties, towns, villages or hamlets within that state, you too are in a special group.
If you have a different skin color, or speak with a different accent, or worship in a different way, you too are in a special group.
If you sleep with others of the same sex, you’re in a special group. (But if you sleep with members of the opposite sex, you’re not.)
If you have a Hispanic last name you qualify for inclusion in a special group, even if your last name came from your paternal great-great-grandfather who married an Irish girl, and that’s the only Hispanic connection on your family tree.
If you are a left-handed, bald, transvestite periodontist, you are in a special group. Well, OK, maybe not. There may not be enough votes among left-handed, bald, transvestite periodontists to earn special, oppressed group status among L-P-Ds.
Do you find yourself excluded from one of the L-P-D special groups? Don’t worry! L-P-Ds actually have a group just for you! Anyone not in one of the L-P-Ds favored groups. You will find yourself in a different pre-defined L-P-D group. This other group is always defined as greedy, uncaring, intellectually challenged, racist, homophobic, xenophobic, isolationist bigots who have no regard for the environment, women, gays, illegal immigrants, the climate of the planet and should therefore be forced to undergo sensitivity re-education while being taxed into poverty to pay for special programs to support the original special groups. In short, the rest of us.
Got all that?
This is the challenge for the presumptive Republican nominee, Mitt Romney. Conservatives, libertarians and Republicans (even RINOs) face a daunting task. The normal arguments from Conservative are framed around the idea of an all encompassing “us” and what is good or bad for “us”. The standard L-P-D meme is generally “us versus them”, where “us” is always defined as the powerless victim of “them”.
Perhaps the best approach to dealing with this is to follow the lead of Saul Alinsky. Ol’ Saul instructed his acolytes that “Ridicule, is man’s most potent weapon. It is almost impossible to counterattack ridicule. Also it infuriates the opposition, who then react to your advantage.”
And, Mr. Romney, if you don’t think you have anything to ridicule, just do what Will Rogers did so successfully…just read a newspaper. You can spend most of the campaign simply pointing out how insulting the L-P-Ds are to each and every voter who is drafted into one of their special groups and is therefore branded as incompetent, helpless, hopeless, and unable to care for themselves. I’m sure those voters will be thrilled with being described in such terms by your opponent.
This article was originally published on the Absurd Report.